Winding Creek Circle

May 1st.
My resignation took effect yesterday. I left the office, for the last time, at 9PM. I left with a very heavy heart. It took a great deal of effort to convince myself NOT to cry.

It was all so bittersweet for me. That was my first job, and I lasted five years. What was supposed to be a temporary money solution while I work got extended because I need to get married, I got pregnant, then I needed to support the family. Then I got promoted and work became something I really loved.

I guess it’s also bittersweet in a way that this is totally life-changing for me. Im not dreading staying at home - Im so looking forward to it. Time with the kids. Focus on me. Good stuff.

But when you leave a job that has so much memories - it hurts.I grew up there. I had friends. Too many happy and sad memories.

Bittersweet.
That’s what April 30 meant.

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Forgive me while I rant some more.

I just cried my eyes out in frustration with my eldest, who was crying because he didnt want to sleep yet. He cried so hard and LOUD - mind you, we are in a place where it eerily becomes quiet by 7PM. And everytime I told him to stop crying, he’d cry crocodile tears louder.

He only stopped when I started crying.
I swear, this is a mixture of hormones (the flag is up), the changes, physical tiredness, single mommy pity (husband is away), and the fact I was craving for some me time (I also needed to work my sideline gigs).

I will get used to this.

Tomorrow is a new day.

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Since my youngest is now staying with me (she got to stay with my parents during weekdays when I needed to work), it is such a great but hard and frustrating learning process to get to know her again - her little quirks and antics. Obviously, I need more info how to clue in to her needs - like when she gets sleepy, how she needs to eat and all her fascinating little hobbies (like looking for spiders). And that talking about lizards calms her down. Seriously.

Case in point - last night. My daughter has a weird habit these days of waking in the middle of the night with the urge to watch Elmo. So last night, I didnt have the strength to get my dose of surfing the web since we moved some boxes to the new house. We were all dead beat and slept by 10pm. She woke up at 2AM saying ‘Bee bee” *(TV). We ended up watching three DVDs of Elmo and slept again by 4.30am. So we woke up together at 10AM. Banishing my ME time in the morning.

This gets easier, right?

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